✝️ God made you different (He wants to make you extraordinary)

Good morning, my brothers! Today we explore why God intentionally made each of us different and how our unique design (including our failures and limitations) isn’t a bug in the system: it’s a feature. Like stained glass windows in a cathedral, we each reflect Christ's light in ways no other can. Plus, we welcome legendary Christian ministry Compassion International as the guest of honor and sponsor of this issue (MTM #42.) They’ve got something special to share with us below. Let’s go!

This week’s manly topics (6-min read):

🌲 GROWTH Feelings of inadequacy torture every man … but they do not need to and they are something we need to spiritually mature beyond. But how? Glad you asked!
📰  NEWS Sore shoulder? Welcome to the club. Let’s find out how we can get some relief and recover our Samson-like strength (just in case you need to collapse a pagan temple.)
🗓️ SAVE-THE-DATE This is your last chance to register for our second June 12 digital campfire - see details and registration link below.

A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL

Faith isn’t always black and white—and that’s okay. Watch real, unscripted conversations between well-known Christians as they navigate difficult questions about parenting, church hurt, abiding in Christ, and more.  They didn’t see the questions in advance, so what you get is honest dialogue, raw moments, and biblical truth, right when the world needs it most. Click here to watch or listen now.

GROWTH
Why God Made You Different (and how He will make you extraordinary)

Monday morning arrived like so many others: coffee brewing, the house still quiet, my notebook open to a blank page. I sat down to write, offering my familiar prayer: “Lord, I'm just the pen. You’re the Writer. Give me Your words and help me be faithful in typing them out.”

But before I could even settle into my chair, He spoke. Not audibly, but with that unmistakable clarity that cuts through the morning fog of my mind. I saw an image of Jesus; not any particular portrayal I'd seen before, but somehow encompassing all of them. The fair-skinned Jesus of Sunday school flannel boards. The darker-complexioned Christ of The Passion. The kind eyes from The Chosen. Then it struck me: we've never actually seen His face.

Isaiah tells us why: “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him” (Isaiah 53:2). There's profound wisdom in this divine mystery. God never meant for us to chase a single mold, to conform to one image of what a man of faith should look like.

And yet, here I am at 59, still catching myself measuring my life against other men's scorecards.

The Comparison Trap We Never Escape

If I’m honest (and at my age, what’s the point of being anything else) I spent decades feeling like I was running someone else’s race. In my twenties and thirties, it was career achievements. In my forties and fifties, it was financial milestones and the size of my influence. Now, as I watch friends retire to golf courses and grandchildren while I’m still grinding away at this newsletter ministry, I sometimes wonder if I missed something fundamental about how a man my age should be living.

Maybe you know this feeling. Maybe you’re the guy who never quite fit the traditional masculine mold: not the pickup truck driver, not the hunter, not the guy with calloused hands from building things. Or maybe you are that guy, but you find yourself in a season where your confidence has been shaken, where younger men seem to have all the answers, where you wonder if your best years are behind you.

I get dozens of messages each week from men in our MTM fraternity sharing struggles just like these. The 62-year-old whose company was “restructured” and who now wonders if anyone values his decades of experience. The 55-year-old whose adult children seem to have moved on without needing his guidance. The 70-year-old whose physical limitations have forced him to step back from activities that once defined him. Each message carries the same underlying question: “What good am I to God's kingdom now?”

Christ’s Original Disciples: Motley, by Design

When I feel that familiar sting of inadequacy creeping in, I find myself returning to Jesus’ original twelve. What a collection of misfits they were … and I mean that in the most endearing way possible.

Four were fishermen: Peter, Andrew, James, and John. But even among these four, the differences were stark. Peter was the one who couldn’t keep his mouth shut, whose enthusiasm often outpaced his wisdom. Remember him trying to walk on water, then sinking when doubt crept in? Or his promise to never deny Jesus, followed by his 3x repudiation? James and John earned the nickname “Sons of Thunder” … which sounds heroic until you realize it was probably Jesus' gentle way of saying they were loud, impulsive, and often obnoxious.

Then there was Matthew, the tax collector who was essentially a collaborator with Rome, despised by every patriotic Jew. Imagine the dinner conversations between Matthew and Simon the Activist, who belonged to a group dedicated to violently overthrowing Roman rule. Talk about awkward upper room meals.

And Judas … yes, the Iscariot Judas. I think he wasn't just a thief but he was likely involved in get-rich-quick schemes that left him financially desperate. His betrayal for thirty pieces of silver wasn’t just about greed; it was probably about a man drowning in debt, grasping for any lifeline.

The Gospel accounts tell us these men spent three years arguing about who among them would rank highest in Jesus’ kingdom (Matthew 18:1-4, Mark 9:33-36, Luke 9:46-47). Like political campaign staffers positioning themselves for cabinet positions, they were constantly comparing, competing, measuring themselves against each other.

This tendency to compare: it’s not a character flaw unique to us. It’s part of our fallen human nature, this juvenile self-preoccupation that makes us judge our worth by looking sideways at other men instead of upward to our Father.

The Transformation: From Comparison to Reflection

But here’s what gives me hope: Acts 4:13 tells us that after the resurrection, after Pentecost, when Peter and John were arrested for preaching Christ, “the members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus.”

They had been with Jesus. Not “they had gotten their act together” or “they had finally measured up to some standard.” They had simply spent time in His presence, and it changed them from the inside out.

This reminds me of Keith Green’s beautiful song “Stained Glass”:

We are like windows
Stained with colors of the rainbow
Set in a darkened room
Till the bridegroom comes to shining through

Then the colors fall around our feet
Over those we meet
Covering all the gray that we see

Think about a cathedral’s stained glass windows. Each piece of glass is different … different colors, different shapes, different textures. Individually, some might seem unremarkable, even flawed. But when the light shines through them, they create something breathtakingly beautiful that no single pane could achieve alone.

The disciples became like those windows. Peter’s impulsiveness, refined by grace, became holy boldness. John’s fiery temperament was transformed into passionate love for the brethren. Matthew’s head for numbers became careful stewardship of kingdom resources. Each man’s unique design (including what he might have seen as his greatest weaknesses) became the very place where Christ’s light shone most brilliantly.

Your Irreplaceable Place in God’s Design

Brother, I need you to hear this: at 58, 68, or 78, you are not a liability to God's kingdom. You are not a backup plan. You are not too late, too old, too ordinary, or too broken to be used powerfully by the God who “chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise” (1 Corinthians 1:27).

Your decades of experience … including your failures, your disappointments, your hard-won wisdom … these aren’t disqualifications. They’re qualifications for a unique ministry that only you can fulfill.

I think of my own journey through the 2008 financial crisis, when I lost almost everything I’d worked to build. For years, I carried the shame of those failures. Now I find myself mentoring younger men facing similar pressures, offering wisdom that can only come from someone who’s walked through that particular valley and lived to tell about it.

Stepping Into Your Stained Glass Calling

The question isn’t whether you fit some predetermined mold of Christian masculinity. The question is: are you willing to let Christ’s light shine through the unique combination of gifts, experiences, and even scars that make you who you are?

Here’s what I’ve learned in my own journey of learning to embrace rather than escape my particular design:

First, stop looking sideways and start looking up. That habit of measuring ourselves against other men is evidence of spiritual immaturity. Every moment you spend comparing yourself to someone else is a moment stolen from the good work God has for you today.

Second, inventory your accumulated wisdom. What hard lessons have you learned that other men need to hear? What mistakes have you made that could spare others similar pain? What victories have you won that could encourage someone in the middle of their own battle? Your experience isn’t just personal history: it's the substance of your service.

Third, ask God to show you who needs what you uniquely offer. Maybe it’s the young father in your neighborhood who's struggling to balance work and family. Maybe it's the middle-aged man at church whose marriage is hanging by a thread. Maybe it’s someone facing the same challenges you’ve overcome.

Finally, remember that your adequacy doesn’t come from you … it comes from Him. As Paul reminds us:

The Light Still Shines

Every Monday morning when I sit down to write, I’m reminded that I'm just the pen, not the Author. Some weeks the words flow like water. Other weeks, I stare at the blank page wondering if I have anything left to offer. But when I step back, admit my limitations, and invite the Holy Spirit to take over, that’s when the message comes alive.

Your “ordinary” is exactly where God loves to display His extraordinary power. Your season of life (whether it's marked by vitality or vulnerability, success or struggle) is the perfect backdrop for His light to shine through your particular color and shape in His great cathedral window.

The disciples weren’t chosen because they had impressive résumés. They were chosen because they were willing to be transformed by proximity to Jesus. They spent time with Him, and it changed everything: their perspective, their purpose, their power to impact the world.

You are not a copy. You are not a mistake. You are not too late or too limited. You are God’s original work, designed to reflect His light in a way that no other man in history can replicate.

Keith Green said it better than I can so remember the words of his song:

We are His daughters and sons
We are the colorful ones
We are the kids of the King
Rejoice in everything

The bridegroom wants to shine through you … right now, right where you are, with all your imperfections and limitations and unique life experiences.

Stop waiting to feel qualified. You already are.

THIS JUST IN
📣 NEWS FROM AROUND THE WEB 📣 

Training
“For physical training is of some value ....” 1 Timothy 4:8

SHOULDERS SPOTLIGHT SERIES: 🧵 1/3 – Shoulder pain affects a supermajority of guys 50+, but how do you know when that nagging ache requires medical attention versus handling it yourself? Serious warning signs demand immediate medical evaluation: severe pain following a traumatic event (ex. lifting weight, throwing ball, etc.) that restricts all movement, night pain disrupting sleep, numbness or weakness radiating down your arm, visible deformity, or fever with shoulder pain. Warning signs include sudden problems with daily activities and progressive weakness lasting more than 2-3 weeks. Managing your recovery yourself is appropriate for gradual-onset pain without warning signs, some range of motion still intact, and pain that improves with rest and over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medication. Research shows 60-80% of shoulder problems respond well to conservative treatment when properly handled. The key is honest self-assessment: when in doubt, get it checked out. Next week: How to rehab your shoulders (hint: it’s not just rest.)

Relationships
“… two are better than one …” Ecclesiastes 4:9

God’s design in differentiating the sexes is nowhere clearer than in the distribution of testosterone. As we discovered in MTM #2, men have, on average, 1,400 percent more testosterone than women … and husbands and wives live with the consequences daily. The difference in drive is a big part of the reason why sex can become a sore subject when it should be a source of connection and strength. According to a Focus on the Family-endorsed video series, “A great sex life is something you make, not something you find.” This completely-free seven-episode video series may be just what you and your beloved wife need to renew your appreciation and investment in what God intended to be your marriage’s “flux capacitor.” You will receive the link to the first video via email after you sign up … consider a donation if you can afford it. Courtesy Focus on the Family