✝️ The brother who loved me enough to tell me I was wrong

Good morning, my brothers! Last Sunday night, I opened an email that stung a bit. One of our readers, Stephen, had some pointed feedback about a recent newsletter. My first instinct? Defensive mode. But as I kept reading, I realized Stephen had done something rare and precious: he’d loved me enough to speak truth. It reminded me of Nathan confronting David, and why we desperately need more men willing to have these uncomfortable conversations. Let’s go!

This week’s manly topics (5-min read):

🤜 FRATERNITY Confrontation … the mere mention of the word tightens our stomachs. So, let’s take a deep breath and explore the why, how and when of this sometimes life-and-death topic through a Biblical lens.
📰  NEWS Sleep and skin are this’s week news focus. We discover things God has built into nature to help us with both.
☸️ WE NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU Would you complete a quick, 7-question form that will help us know how MTM is helping you and how we can improve? - this is the last week so, if you have not already shared your thoughts, please do so today!

FRATERNITY
The brother who loved me enough to tell me I was wrong

“I think it’s a pretty tone-deaf message …”

Those words hit me like a cold splash of water last Sunday night. I'd just finished reading feedback from Stephen, one of our MTM brothers, who rated our latest issue as “I didn't like it”.

My stomach tightened as I clicked on his follow-up email. I braced for what I assumed would be a harsh takedown. Instead, I found something different. His words were direct, yes, but they came wrapped in kindness and real concern. He wasn't trying to tear me down: he was trying to help me see something I'd missed.

And he was right.

Stephen had spotted a blind spot in my perspective that I couldn’t see myself. He offered to help me understand his point of view better, along with other men who shared his concerns. In other words, he did exactly what a true friend should do: he loved me enough to tell me something I didn’t want to hear but needed to know.

As I sat with his words, my mind drifted to a familiar story in 2 Samuel 12: the moment when Nathan walked into King David’s palace to deliver some uncomfortable truth.

When Someone Loves You Enough to Confront You

Think about it: when was the last time someone cared enough about you to point out a sin or blind spot in your life? When was the last time you loved someone enough to do the same for them?

Most of us would say it's been a while. Our culture has trained us to keep our mouths shut, to “live and let live,” to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. We’ve turned tolerance into the highest virtue, even when it means watching our brothers walk toward a cliff.

But that’s not love. That's cowardice.

Real love sometimes requires us to risk the relationship for the sake of the person we love, just like Nathan did with David.

The Prophet and the King

Picture the scene: King David, the most powerful man in Israel, had been living with unconfessed sin for about a year. Adultery with Bathsheba. Murder of her husband Uriah. A web of lies and cover-ups that was hardening his heart and pulling him away from God.

Then God sent Nathan.

Nathan could have found a thousand reasons to stay quiet. “It’s not my place.” “Who am I to judge?” “Maybe David will figure it out on his own.” Sound familiar?

Instead, Nathan walked into the palace and told a story about a rich man who stole a poor man's only lamb. When David exploded with righteous anger at the injustice, Nathan delivered four words that changed everything: “You are the man!”

No beating around the bush. No softening the blow. Just truth, spoken in love.

David’s heart broke open. “I have sinned against the LORD,” he confessed right away. That moment of humble repentance led to his restoration with God and gave us Psalm 51 … one of the most beautiful prayers of repentance ever written.

Why We’ve Lost This Ability

Here’s what Stephen reminded me: we live in an age where biblical confrontation has almost disappeared, even in the church. We’re so afraid of being labeled “judgmental” that we’d rather watch our brothers stumble than risk an awkward conversation.

I’ve seen it in my own life. How many times have I noticed a friend making destructive choices and said nothing? How many times have I chosen my comfort over his spiritual health?

The truth is, we all have blind spots: areas of sin or weakness we simply cannot see in ourselves. David needed Nathan’s eyes to see his own heart clearly. If David, a man after God’s own heart, needed that kind of loving confrontation, how much more do we?

Proverbs 27:6 puts it this way: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

A friend who only tells you what you want to hear isn’t really your friend. He’s just someone who values your approval more than your soul.

A Framework for Loving Confrontation

So how do we recover this lost art? How do we become men who care enough to speak up?

Here’s what I’ve learned, both from Scripture and from Stephen’s example:

• Start with your own heart. Before you point out someone else’s speck, deal with your own plank. Are you approaching this with humility? Are your motives pure? Matthew 7:3-5 isn't just a suggestion: it’s preparation we need.

• Pray first. Ask God for wisdom, timing, and the right words. This isn’t about winning an argument: it’s about restoring a brother.

• Go private. Matthew 18:15 is clear: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” No public shaming. No gossip disguised as “prayer requests.”

• Speak truth in love. Ephesians 4:15 sets the balance. Truth without love is harsh and condemning. Love without truth is just enabling disguised as kindness.

• Be ready to listen. Stephen didn’t just tell me I was wrong: he explained why and offered to help me understand. Sometimes the person we're confronting has perspective we're missing.

• Offer to walk alongside them. The goal isn’t to deliver your truth bomb and walk away. It’s restoration, not destruction.

The Risk and the Reward

Let’s be honest: this kind of loving confrontation is risky. Stephen could have kept his mouth shut and avoided any potential conflict. Nathan risked his relationship with the king, maybe even his life.

But the potential reward far outweighs the risk. James reminds us:

When we love each other enough to speak difficult truth, we participate in God’s work of restoration. We become instruments of healing rather than enablers of destruction.

The Challenge for Us

Brothers, we need more Nathans in our lives. Men who love us enough to risk the relationship for the sake of our souls. Men who care more about our spiritual health than our temporary comfort.

But we also need to become Nathans ourselves. The men around us (our sons, our friends, our fellow church members) need us to be brave enough to speak truth when it matters most.

This doesn’t mean becoming the spiritual police, looking for fault. It means being the kind of friend who notices when a brother is drifting and cares enough to say something. The kind of man who values relationships enough to risk them for the sake of restoration.

Just like Stephen did for me last Sunday night.

His willingness to speak uncomfortable truth didn’t damage our relationship: it deepened it. Now I know he’s the kind of brother who will tell me what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear.

That's the kind of friend we all need. And that's the kind of friend we’re called to be.

Will you be that friend? Will you be that Nathan?

The eternal destiny of our brothers may depend on it.

THIS JUST IN
📣 NEWS FROM AROUND THE WEB

Sleep
“I lie down and sleep. I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” Psalms 3:5

Technology increasingly insulates us from the healing God built into nature. Grounding, or earthing, offers a simple way to reconnect with God’s creation by allowing your body to absorb free electrons from the Earth, potentially neutralizing free radicals and reducing inflammation, a key factor in chronic conditions like hypertension and diabetes. Recent studies suggest grounding during sleep can enhance health: a 2018 study found participants grounded for 10-12 hours nightly saw systolic blood pressure drop significantly, while others reported longer sleep duration and fewer disturbances. Grounding may also improve blood sugar regulation and reduce blood viscosity, supporting age-related health needs. By using a grounding mat on your mattress, you can passively tap into these benefits during your seven to nine hours of nightly rest.

Supplementation
“... the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.” Revelation 22:2

There was a time when men ridiculed other men who ditched bar soap for gel soap. Now, we all use gel soap. So, let’s visualize a future where all guys take care of their skin as part of their overall fitness program. You don’t need any fancy brand name products because God’s creation offers a powerful, affordable solution: coconut oil. Daily use can transform your skin health with these benefits: 1) Moisturization hydrates dry skin, restoring elasticity; 2) Anti-inflammatory properties soothe redness and irritation; 3) Antimicrobial effects protect against infections; 4) Anti-aging benefits boost collagen, reducing wrinkles; and 5) Wound healing accelerates recovery from minor cuts. Apply a light layer to your face and neck each morning (15 minutes before going outside) and a generous amount before bed. Christ’s life will shine through your brighter, smoother skin … and your wife will appreciate it, too!